Step 11 (through prayer and meditation)

How do I change my mind?

I landed on the rocky shore of AA because my mind needed to be changed. My mind contained an over-riding obsession with the vehicle of my destruction. It still does, though the vehicle has changed and is less fast-acting.

I change my mind by action. I’ve been trying to develop the habit of drinking a glass of water before lunch and before dinner. Physically doing the action of drinking the water makes me more likely to do it again. I’m seeking to make it a habit so that after a time I won’t think about it anymore, I’ll just do it. I succeed more than I fail to drink the water, but I haven’t attacked this problem with every tool in my toolbox. There’s no alarm on my phone. No one calls me to remind me or tell me I’m going great with it. But still I do the action and I believe that if I continue to do it, I will make it a habit and I’ll drink water before lunch and dinner without thinking about it overly much.

The other way though besides doing the action is through prayer and meditation. I don’t pray about water or meditate about it, but I do pray and meditate about being healthier. Euphemism for thinner! I do it in distress and also in quiet. I’m seeking to change my mind, or let God change my mind to take care of this body I’ve been given.

I’ve recently been successful, often, with 10 minutes of meditation at an AA meeting I attend. The meeting uses the Daily Reflections, which I hate. It also uses music, which I strongly dislike. Sometimes the book or the music disturb me so much that I can’t meditate, but usually I’m successful. That is the only time I am.

I’ve written before about my only successful meditation experiences at a Quaker Meeting, so I guess I really benefit from the group setting. That may be something about me or it may be that I rarely, very rarely, try at other times. Toolbox unmolested!


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