Last week at this time I was staying awake to leave for the Women’s March on Washington at one in the morning. When I first heard about the march I had said to Carole, “Let’s go.” And Carole, being Carole, said, “Let’s get a bus and 54 of our best friends to go too!” It was grueling, to say the least. My daughter was there but I didn’t get to see her. I live a good distance from Washington and I’m a very poor sleeper so I ended up literally not sleeping for days traveling there and back. I remember the old AA adage that no one dies from a lack of sleep and I didn’t want to be the first.
It was very difficult, and I frequently got overwhelmed with sadness at the reason we all went there. That said, it was uplifting and amazing and I’m energized to fight, fight, fight.
Every day I take at least ten minutes to fight this ridiculous president. My idea is to make my call, write my letter, etc etc, and leave it, but I spend much more mental energy on it daily than ten minutes. I want to cut that way down, because the mental energy I spend is not healthy or constructive. I’ve subscribed to the New York Times on my Kindle in an effort to get informed and spend that energy in a constructive way, and to support the Times, which relentlessly bashes those who need to be bashed.
I’ve gone maybe my longest time without a meeting. I couldn’t go to my Saturday night meeting, coming back from the march. I wanted to go Monday but my stomach was too upset. The rest of the week I didn’t try. I’ll go tomorrow to my home group and I’m not really worried about it, just recording it here. I’ve been sober for 32 years. I plan, one day at a time to never drink again and to always be an active member of AA. I just didn’t go to a meeting for approximately two weeks.
An AA friend wrote and deleted a Facebook post, but I read it. She asked how all this worrying about things that haven’t happened yet goes along with One Day at a Time and other AA tenants. It doesn’t, and when I see worry in myself I try to turn it into something constructive. My ideal is fight serenely. Because I am a good AA, but this is an emergency. Changing the things I can’t accept if they are indeed changeable is a good thing. AA gave me life and I’m living it.