July 14, 2018 (this day)

IMG_1289A dress I didn’t buy for my daughter’s wedding.

She’s in Spain on her honeymoon, and faithful readers may remember a few years ago when she went to Greece on her own.  This is much easier.  But I still worry.

I worry about so many things.  It’s my biggest character defect in terms of lowering my quality of life.  Sitting here writing this everything is really, really good.  But I worry about what might not be – my daughter’s trip, my mother’s health, my health, my job…

It’s time to change a few things for the better.  Eating, shopping, exercising, meetings, program, housekeeping.  All improving shortly.  Stay tuned!

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired

More than of few of AA’s slogans are devoted to pointing out that active alcoholism is an unhappy state of existence.  What do you have to lose by trying the program, following the program, adopting and living the program?

Thinking now about giving up habits that make me unhappy and unhealthy now I come up to that same “NO” that I used to feel when I thought about not drinking.  Like the unfulfilled urge will be unbearable.

I was recently at an exhibit that had to do with rock and roll, and I was thinking about the famous people who have died from overdoses.  I am especially sometimes taken with thoughts of how it might have been for Michael Jackson.  It seems to me that he was trying to hover around “so out of it as to be almost but not quite dead.”  I can understand that.  Of course, I can understand wanting to be all the way dead.

I’m very grateful that my will to live overcame my will to die, and I realized drinking was  killing me and would kill me.  There are famous people who seem to have recovered from drinking and drug addiction or at least enough to continue to live.  Coming back to the slogan, how happy can a person be who has quite a lot (of money and talent, at least) and risks everything to be put out of it?

Anyway, for us regular folks this is hopefully a slogan that will hit home at times.  When it’s time to get sober and when it’s time to quit other unhealthy things.  Like now.