Dryland

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AA-bot that I am, I admittedly see everything through that lens, and for this I am grateful (like a good AA should be).  I’ve read a few sobriety memoirs and I’ve known ….. thousands?…. of people who drank alcoholically and got sober.  I’ve also listened to ….. thousands?…… more “stories” as we tell them in AA.  Stories of drinking and stopping drinking and life after stopping drinking.

The drinking portion of this book is very interesting because the author lived an extraordinary life.  She traveled and lived in other countries the way few people do, and she relates those aspects of her story well enough.  She describes drinking alcoholically and she does that well also.

But then, of stopping there is only a very slight mention.  She stopped.  Of life after stopping there is only slight mention.  She stayed stopped, at least for a while.

The abrupt ending of her story made me turn to Google to see if she’s still stopped.  I cannot tell.  Of course I hope that she is still sober.

So the abrupt sobriety without any details of how that sobriety made it into the future made me think about my own situation.  First of all, I could not just stop.  Or rather, sometimes I could, but those times never lasted for any significant period.  With nothing to this book except a description of alcoholic drinking and a cold turkey unassisted sobriety, I was left to think about what my life might have been like had I been able to do what the author did and stop for good unassisted.

I just would not have pursued the personal growth I’ve had to pursue as part of AA.  I doubt I’d be the kind to find a religion that fits or stick to my own program of recovery.  Most importantly, I wouldn’t want to.

“The drunk who brought you in will take you out.”  We’re told in AA that unless we change we’re in danger of drinking again.  I hope this woman has found a lasting sobriety, but how does she go about changing?  This book doesn’t tell.

I inevitably come back to the thought that I’m grateful I couldn’t recover without AA.  If I had been able to, I would have missed the greatest moments of my life.  And by the way, AA is happy for anyone who stops under and means.