Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program . . .
I have recovered. Does that mean that I can and did completely give myself to this simple program?
In many ways, I would answer “yes” to that question. I have completely accepted the idea of abstinence that AA espouses. I understand that I cannot drink anything, at all, no amount, not ever (though I abstain just for today). I also accept that a drug is a drug and I abstain from all mind-altering mood-changing substances. I accept the idea that I need to belong to AA and participate in AA in order to maintain my recovery. I know that I have to keep living by the spiritual principles set down in the Twelve Steps.
Looking at it this way, I see that it is a simple program (though those steps sure contain some complex ideas, at least to my mind). I also see that I have to give myself completely. That doesn’t mean, to me, that I believe and embrace the program 100% of the time. I mean that I can have doubts or waver, but not for long, and not long enough to drink. But in my life right now, I really don’t have doubts or waver. It’s a nice way to be.
When I do and give less than 100%, it always has to do with my thoughts and conduct in my every day life. After being in and around AA for so long, I usually know what the right thing to do or think is in most situations. I have to accept that when I don’t do the right thing, I’ve made a choice, and there are consequences, the least of which may be that it takes me longer to grow and I’m less happy than I could be. After all, it’s still in the end usually about my happiness, even if I feel happy when I help other people.
That’s my understanding of completely giving myself to the program today.