Questioning directed to this end might run like this: Looking at both past and present, what situations have caused me anxiety, bitterness, frustration, or depression? Appraising each situation fairly, can I see where I have been at fault? Did those perplexities beset me because of selfishness or unreasonable demands? Or, if my behavior was seemingly caused by the behavior of others, why do I lack the ability to accept conditions I cannot change? These are the sort of fundamental inquiries that can disclose the source of my discomfort and indicate whether I may be able to alter my own conduct and so adjust myself serenely to self-discipline.
A ton to unpack here.
What situations? For me: fear of the future and not having enough; fear of future and old age, sickness, disability, etc; fear (disappointment) that I likely won’t have grandchildren; the state of my body (overweight and achy, compromised knees and hearing); worry over adult children and elderly mother.
Did these perplexities beset me because of selfishness or unreasonable demands? Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! There it is! This is it!
….behavior……caused by….others? No, no, a thousand times no!
…the source of my discomfort. Self? Driven by a thousand forms of fear? I could get psycho-babbly here and examine my childhood and blame my mother, but I’m not going to! I have had everything I needed and much much more every day of my life.
…I may be able to alter my own conduct….adjust myself serenely to self-discipline. Well.
May 1st I will mark 40 years of sobriety. Forty. Years. So, in the most important way, and to the most important extent, yes, I have altered my own conduct and adjusted myself serenely to the self-discipline that I need to achieve a very long lasting sobriety. AA has always given me more than that and I want so much more than that now.
Selfishness and unreasonable demands. How do I remove these defects? How do I cooperate with God so that he can?
Don't Drink and Don't Die 