April 30, 2023 (this day)

This day! Thirty nine years ago on this day I had my last alcohol to date.

The topic at my meeting this morning was relapse and denial, and that way my last relapse and the end of my denial.

Until that day, the “lurking notion” kept returning to me that I could drink successfully. I knew I was alcoholic. I knew that meant that I couldn’t drink successfully. But time and again when emotions became too much I tried to drink just the little bit that would relieve my distress. I’m lucky and blessed that it hit me so hard, so young. I’m a miracle in that I was chasing death in a way that has devastated humanity forever and I found a way out.

I’m having a hard, hard reset right now in that I’m not working for the first time in a very long time. My mother is alone far way and the process of getting her to where I am is fraught. There’s the promise of a bright, bright future on the horizon for as long as it may last and the AA experience tells me I probably can’t imagine the details of how good it may be or order anything as wonderful as what will actually happen.

Had I taken a different road at that long ago turning point this story would be full of tragedy instead of triumph. I don’t know what will happen tomorrow but so far, so good.

(on the chance that some young person comes across this story I want to say that I was 21 years old 39 years ago and it is the supreme blessing of my life that I got sober so young. Never have I ever wished I had spent any of that time drinking)

One thought on “April 30, 2023 (this day)

  1. Congratulations on “39” years. I came in the program 1983 my sobriety took October 1984 at a ripe old age of 24 . One day at a time 🙏

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