July 4, 2017 (this day)

IMG_0583The cat the rugs were on the line for is dead.  She was 16, which to me is not old for a cat.  The dog, who is 14, has some kind of something wrong with her liver and she won’t take the Sam-E on an empty stomach the way she’s supposed to in order to help her liver.  Critters.  They take a lot of my mental and emotional energy right now.  I’m down two three pets.  The aforementioned dog and two cats, twins (or so the shelter told us) who are six years old and healthy.  One is purring on my arm right now, making it difficult to type.  Someone I work with said she wants to come back as one of my pets.  I haven’t had this few pets for many years.  I can’t really imagine or accept living without this dog.  I try not to spend too much time with thoughts like that.  Really, she could outlive me, you never know, and all the preemptive sadness will have been for nothing.

This may not seem to have much to do with AA, but when I contemplate all this, which is often, I really feel like I’ve gotten worse at AA over the years, not better.  And I’m not going to more meetings as a result of those feelings because I hate to leave the dog home alone.  And I’m not getting another dog because I hate to leave the dog home alone.  I’ll go to more meetings then.  There will be plenty of time.  If I’m fortunate.

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