Eleventh Step Prayer

Self-Centered Fear

It’s Friday and I’ve found I’m “alone” in management at work.  This is something that will increase in my life over the next ten years as my work partner of almost 20 years retires and probably won’t be replaced in the same capacity.  Really, I’m far from “alone.”  I work for a big agency with 20-30 staff people just at my site, and many managers above me readily available.  Still, hearing that my immediate manager will be off and my partner being off spark a fear reaction in me.  I will breathe a sigh of relief at the end of this day that I made it through, which is just goofy.

 

Trying to think of how to embrace this day enthusiastically and confidently (because I am competent and should be confident).  Thinking of the Saint Francis prayer because that’s the next piece of program stuff I should consider.  I’ve long visualized a “channel of peace” that extends from the heavens down to me.  But the darkness/light, despair/hope, doubt/faith rubric is hard for me except in the most dire of situations.  Today I want to bring faith to overcome my own doubt.  I am so blessed and so fortunate to have the ability to help people at least a little bit every single day at work. If I’m “alone,” “at the top,” my attitude will be the most important one here today.

 

Lord, make me a channel of Thy peace . . .

PS added this evening:  I nearly had to evacuate 60 individuals with multiple, severe disabilities and many many staff into the cold, cold morning, as a bathroom fan stopped working, heated up and started smoking.  Whew.

 

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