August 28, 2016 (this day)

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Vacations are over and Carole, as a teacher, will go back to work tomorrow.  Always and adjustment.  We’re still living with a little fear inspired by very minor vandalism inspired by our very big Hillary sign.  I always try to take these things as a lesson to be more compassionate toward people who have real problems, and to do something to help them.

We went to a church gathering yesterday and took a quiz about our spiritual gifts.  My top gift was MERCY.  Hm.  That was followed by writing and administration, then exhortation and service.  I can say that all these gifts have been given to me by sobriety and AA.  And, AA style, I looked immediately to where I scored the lowest and these would be music-vocal (not much I can do about that), then hospitality.  The people at the gathering said I am hospitable enough to their eyes but there are people I’ve known for many years.  I question how much I should push myself and how much is my inborn personality that will not be altered.  I NEVER enjoy meeting new people.  I know my objective is to not let them know this, to not make others uncomfortable because I’m uncomfortable.  How much should I seek to meet new people?

At meetings, of course, this is my context.  I being greeted by an uncomfortable but trying to hide it me better than not being greeted by me?  Can I let the extroverts socialize until over time people become familiar to me?  What is best for the blessed newcomer?

 

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