Back from vacation which presents challenges physical, mental, emotional and spiritual! No more time to watch turtles cross the road unless I take time away from my doggie and travel a bit from my home. Leaving the pets, especially the dog, is a huge stress for me and as soon as I’m back I’m worried about the next time I have to leave her. The worrying is a character defect, for sure, and as she and I get older, I am more in its grip. I also worry about the effect my worry has on my relationship, as my wife is much much more keen to travel and to leave the dog than I am. And all the while I realize I am so blessed to have this special old girl with me still to worry about, as well as people to care for her while I’m gone.
I came home with many bad bug bites, and one swollen lymph node, which may or may not be related to the bug bites. The doctor said to come back with the node if it’s not gone in a month. Three weeks and one day to go on that. It’s smaller but still there. And the tops of my feet have been sore, which Dr. Google is very unhelpful in diagnosing. The doctor checked my feet out and said they’re not broken, etc etc, but would do an x-ray. I said I’d look into that next month if, when the lymph node fails to unswell, the feet still hurt. I don’t do well with doctors.
I had to say goodbye to mother and I had to go back to work. I have to deal with hot weather, and the responsibilities of my home group which is mostly a joy but can feel like a burden.
AA away on vacation made me grateful for my own little corner of AA again. It always does. We went to three meetings and saw mostly the same people who had to travel distances we do not have to travel to get there. I’ve been spoiled in AA my whole life and I doubt I’d be able to gracefully put up with the same small cast of characters at every meeting. Or, more likely, I’d have had to grow in tolerance in ways I haven’t had to, given the plentiful AA community I’ve always been a part of in all the places I’ve lived.
While we were gone, a member of our local AA community died unexpectedly at the age of 61. He had only a few years sober, I’m not sure how many. He was sober, a certain victory. This always makes me conscious again of the miracle of my long, long sobriety and entire adult life spent sober. It also makes me think that it’s never too late to get sober. Going to the funeral parlor, I’m sure that his last years with his family were much better than they would have been had he kept drinking.
I have so much to be grateful for. This post lists just a fraction of the things. Vacation, home, pets, wife, mother, job, AA, meetings, health, health care, weather, computer, internet, blog.