Carole marked 20 years sober yesterday, and I gave her my 20 year coin, which she had given me on my 20th anniversary. I will have my 32nd anniversary May 1, God willing. And the creek don’t rise.
It’s been an extreme blessing to be married to someone in the program. I’ve written about it way back when, but we met at an online AA meeting in 1996 when she was just getting sober and I had a measly 12 years. I wouldn’t meet her in person until she had a year, but by then we had fallen in love. Online. I still felt badly about it, even when Carole had a year, and a friend asked me, “How long does someone have to have in order to date you?” I didn’t know how long, but more than a year I thought.
Anyway I trust that the ensuing 19-year-and-counting relationship has shown I wasn’t out to take advantage of her newcomer status.
Recently at a meeting I heard someone say something like, “….my truest sponsor, my wife …” which would not be a sponsor in the legal, literal or suggested sense. But I understand. Carole and I have talked a lot of AA through the years. We’ve been to a lot of AA through the years. I remember being afraid to meet her and get involved, afraid that she would drink or fade away from AA the way, sadly, most people do. I told her that being an active and sober AA member was a prerequisite for being with me. It was still a terrible chance I took. Looking back, I’m amazed I did that. But my then measly 12 years must have been driven sense into me because it’s worked out so very well for today. I wouldn’t want to do sobriety (or any part of life) without her.