Step Two (my summary)

I know there are people who are dying right now who want to live, but can’t stop drinking. I believe that’s what killed my father, my ex, my uncle, and uncountable others I’ve known in AA and out of AA.  I see miserable, miserable behaviors repeated over and over and over again because someone can’t stop drinking, or can’t stay stopped.

Alcoholic drinking is insane.  It’s compulsive and irresistible and destructive and poisonous.  A woman on my local news this morning was arrested for wrecking a car, three children inside, none of them her own.  She was driving drunk and this was the latest of many times she has wrecked and been arrested.  Why would she do it again?  Why can’t she see that she can’t predict the outcome, or her ability to stop drinking, once she starts?

It’s a sad fact that many people who would otherwise recover can’t accept the “God thing,” the higher power.  But AA itself as a group of abstinent alcoholics is higher power to achieve sobriety.  I know it.  I live it.  I remember having that tiny bit of faith, that little spark of belief.  It reminds me of some Bruce Springsteen lyrics:

It takes a leap of faith to get things going
It takes a leap of faith you gotta show some guts
It takes a leap of faith to get things going
In your heart you must trust

So, the insanity is the drinking and all that goes along with it.  Everyone’s details will vary.  The higher power is the program, or God, or some combination of both.  The belief is the ingredient that sparks the beginning of the change from drunk to sober, from insane to sane.

I mean to (I want to say “try to” but how I hate that “trying”) extend this concept into other areas of my life where I engage in destructive behavior.  For every destructive thing I do there is a sane alternative and people who successfully practice it.  A friend in the program tells us to “address your addictions in the order they are killing you.”  Alcohol and cigarettes have no power over me today.  I believed it was possible, and so it was.

 

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One thought on “Step Two (my summary)

  1. Leap of faith is right. And that was so hard for me! It was a leap I’ve never taken. Looking back. It saved my life. The ‘leap’ for me was taking every suggestion given to me. I had the Gift Of Desperation on my side. Would never have done it without that.

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