July 23, 2015 (this day)

I have never lived alone, and that’s actually making me feel a little bit ……less than?  I have often been home alone, though, from a time when I was too young to be until now.  I really enjoy the feeling of having no demands on me for a time, although I do have the demands of the pesky job and pesky critters.  But in between, lots of unobligated time.  When these times first occurred they made me antsy.  I had moved from living with my mother to living with my ex.  I had gotten pregnant and had two children and it was years before I spent a night without them, but it eventually happened.  At those time, all those many years ago, drinking sometimes occurred to me in a way it didn’t at any other time.  I think sanity had returned to me at least in knowing that if I drank with the children dependent on me I was risking their lives and their health.  I knew that they would find me passed out and incapacitated.  But with them gone……   I’d think about it, very briefly, and happily I never went beyond that and tried it.

And all these years later, the thing that is going to give structure to my weekend home alone is my AA meeting.  The week days will taken care of by the aforementioned job.  And, when I’m not there, the critters (three cats, one dog).  And Sims.

Life is good.

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