Completely Giving Myself to this Simple Program

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Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program . . .
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I have recovered.  Does that mean that I can and did completely give myself to this simple program?

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In many ways, I would answer “yes” to that question.  I have completely accepted the idea of abstinence that AA espouses.  I understand that I cannot drink anything, at all, no amount, not ever (though I abstain just for today).  I also accept that a drug is a drug and I abstain from all mind-altering mood-changing substances.  I accept the idea that I need to belong to AA and participate in AA in order to maintain my recovery.  I know that I have to keep living by the spiritual principles set down in the Twelve Steps.

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Looking at it this way, I see that it is a simple program (though those steps sure contain some complex ideas, at least to my mind).  I also see that I have to give myself completely.  That doesn’t mean, to me, that I believe and embrace the program 100% of the time.  I mean that I can have doubts or waver, but not for long, and not long enough to drink.  But in my life right now, I really don’t have doubts or waver.  It’s a nice way to be.

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When I do and give less than 100%, it always has to do with my thoughts and conduct in my every day life.  After being in and around AA for so long, I usually know what the right thing to do or think is in most situations.  I have to accept that when I don’t do the right thing, I’ve made a choice, and there are consequences, the least of which may be that it takes me longer to grow and I’m less happy than I could be.  After all, it’s still in the end usually about my happiness, even if I feel happy when I help other people.

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That’s my understanding of completely giving myself to the program today.

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2 thoughts on “Completely Giving Myself to this Simple Program

  1. When I first read those words I had 2 thoughts: first is these guys are a cult and second is I ain’t gonna “completely become some sort of cult freak”. Fortunately for me I was more afraid of dying drunk than become a cult member so I stuck around and tried to do what they said.

    At this point I think it means living by the principles of the program … and accepting “progress not perfection” as a winning condition 🙂

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