Choice

Is it a choice, for an alcoholic, to drink, or to refrain from drinking?

 

I believe that it is.  When my mind is free from alcohol or other mind-changing, mood-alerting drugs, picking one up is a choice.  I chose it many many times when I struggled to stop drinking.  That was many years ago.  I have to say that now, the choice doesn’t enter my mind, hardly ever.  It says in one of the books that we’ll recoil from alcohol like we would from poison, and this is true for me.  I would no sooner drink alcohol than antifreeze.  I know that to drink it would be to die, and maybe take some innocent bystanders with me.

 

This is where my mind is today.  When someone in the program drinks time after time after time, after having time sober, without asking for help to make it over that compulsion/obsession/desire, I can only think she made a choice to drink.

 

When I truly wanted to stop, and I felt the urge to drink, I:  called people, read the books, called a friend unrelated to AA, went to sleep, read any book, PUT IT OFF until it passed, and it always passed, from May 1, 1984 until now.

 

I’ll pray and be a friend.  I’ll be a resource and an example.  What else?  What else?

 

AA is for those who want it, not for those who need it.  Today I’m one of the lucky ones who is both.

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2 thoughts on “Choice

    • Thanks for your comment. Spookily, as so often happens in AA, I went to a meeting right after writing this where the speaker referred to the part of the literature I was writing about. He called it the Tenth Step promise.

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