December 24, 2013 (this day)

IMG_1279We traveled out of our state and, after sixteen years together, got “legally” married.  Legal in the state where we got married, not legal in ours.  I just heard on the news that there’s a lawsuit in Ohio because Ohio won’t recognize the spouse of some poor bereaved person on an Ohio death certificate.  Yes, people spend time and money to try and not recognize good, long, “legal” relationships.

But – what a moment!  Fifteen years ago I would not have thought this would be possible.  I never, ever, ever want to stop knowing that there are tragic situations happening because people are still fighting the inevitable, when I think that if they really cared about religion or morals or hell, other people, they would move on to something they can do something about.  Like hunger.

But – yes!  Legally married.  Part of my personal miracle is that, after all that time together, we still both wanted to get married!  The wonderful priest who did the deed for us commented that she’s performing these ceremonies for so many couples who have been together so long.  There’s a backlog of happy couples!  This is an amazing time to be living this life.  In the interests of AA and trying to acquire what I call advanced humility, I will feed my feelings that are grateful to be here, grateful to the people who came before me, and grateful to pave the way for a freer future that I will never see, but that others will.

Also since I last recorded the day, my daughter did graduate and she’s looking for a job.  That is another kind of miracle and one I am incredibly grateful to have lived to see.  She is a sobriety baby.  She has never yet been endangered by my alcoholism and that miracle she can never fully understand.  Also I know, just as her mother, that the fact that I was able to keep my life and hers together enough to play my small part in her success is way beyond my wildest dreams.  At one time it would have been completely out of the realm of possibility.  This miracle is also brought to you by the power of AA.

There are some (two) chronic relapsers who are heavy on my heart right now.  I don’t know if either, neither, or both will make it, but I know the odds are against them.

I’ve written in the past about Phyllis, our neighbor who joined our group late in life, just a few years before she died from cancer.  Phyllis struggled and relapsed but had for the most part a few last, sober years, and the benefit to her family of having her there and sober was enormous.  Her husband came over this afternoon with Christmas goodies for us and he talked about the pastor of his church in a way that just made me so so grateful for the AA way of thinking.  I wanted to hand him the program right then and there because I knew his quality of life would improve so much if only he could think the way we do.  But it takes practice.

Which leads to part of the problem I see with some of the dear chronic relapsers.  They don’t want to practice, or take any direction, really.

Today I’m very happy to report that

“my best thinking got me

 

HERE.”

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