October 3, 2013 (this day)

IMG_0819A year ago I was investigating an incident that took place in a McDonald’s parking lot.  When things go wrong, I’m one of the people who try to figure it out for my agency.  I work with adults who have intellectual disabilities.  Today I went to a school to visit a young lady who will graduate and be part of my program when she’s done with school.  The difference in the funding is incredibly sickening.  The schools have such vast resources, and the adults get so very little.  It always makes me sad to visit those schools and see the difference between their wealth and our poverty.  Still I know that compared to most of the world, even our adults have many many services and resources.  I’m glad I don’t visit schools often and I don’t think about these things often.  I just keep going to work.

Not much is happening in my little corner.  My mother’s birthday is this month, and getting her presents has been a trial for me since I can remember.  She demands presents, hates almost everything, and has really screwed me up for gift giving and gift receiving for my entire life.  And of course her birthday is closely followed by Christmas and then there’s Mother’s Day.  I sent her Five Days at Memorial and I don’t care if she likes it.  So there.

My daughter will hopefully defend her master’s thesis on Halloween.  Halloween is her “favorite” holiday, and the scene of many of her mental breakdowns when she used to have mental breakdowns.  She didn’t pick the day but her committee did.  And I don’t know exactly how these things work but I guess it’s not completely certain that she’ll do it that day.  She’s looking for a job.  I’ve paid her health insurance for a year.  It’s a wonderful transition for her and I’m trying to be brave.

Because of the timing of the defense, Carole and I won’t be visiting her this month.  Carole has been sick with one thing and another for weeks.  The federal recognition of same-sex marriages is making us figure out how to go do this legally, not in our state.  I’m beyond grateful for this but also very disappointed that it’s happening this way.  I want my state to recognize it now.

So, my AA blog.  I’m an only child, and one of the nicknames my mother’s extended family had for me when I was a youngster was “I want I want.”  Perhaps this has something to do with my eventual alcoholism?  Perhaps not.

I know the ideal.  I practice gratitude all day every day, except for when I don’t.  At the end of the day, hey, someone wants to marry me!  And someone, somewhere, is going to even say it’s legal.


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