. . . the surety that we need no longer be . . . (Step Twelve continued)

. . . the surety that we need no longer be square pegs in round holes but can fit and belong in God’s scheme of things–

For me one of the greatest gifts of Alcoholics Anonymous has been the opportunity to know so many people on such a deep level.  I know that many people on the outside know it’s true that to some degree, most people feel they don’t belong or fit in, that there’s something different and usually wrong with them.  It can seem like other people hold a key to friendships and relationships, work and study, that I just don’t have.  Listening to thousands of stories in AA lets me know that this is a universal feeling, again to one degree or another.

Truly drinking I could not fit in any hole of any shape, and I believe now that I was actively working against God’s will by poisoning myself, wasting time and resources and generally being self-centered and destructive.

But of course sober I can feel that I’m still missing one or several vital ingredients in human nature.  Now, I know that it’s not true.

The people I work with can teach me humility every day that I will let them.  Some of them have very severe disabilities.  I can easily see their place in God’s scheme of things.  Or, for times when I can’t, like at times when I wonder why some people are born to suffer so, at least I can imagine that, because we’re all human, we’re all just a variation on each other.  Including me.

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3 thoughts on “. . . the surety that we need no longer be . . . (Step Twelve continued)

  1. Very true. I just had coffee with a guy from the fellowship, and while we don’t meet up often enough, the levels of conversation we get to are on a different scale than in conversations with those not in the program. Yes we talk recovery, but we talk about other things that are complimented with a richness and vocabulary that we both understand from being in the program. We laugh, we nod our heads, we talk over each other. It’s a wonderful thing, something that I never had in my years of drinking…or in short, unsatisfactory bursts. That low, deep level of common understanding is something that I tap into every time I hit a meetings. That and the love and presence of God that presides over every meeting.

    Thanks for sharing, and thank you for this blog – I am just seeing this for the first time. Wonderful.
    Cheers 🙂

    Paul

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