December 20, 2012 (this (last ?) day)

I’m having trouble getting some time away from worry and sadness.  Probably several times a day – no, several times an hour – there is the news that is making the whole world sad.  It reminds me constantly that whatever I am going through, I’m lucky to have made it to this day and this issue.  The one young teacher was born two months after my daughter was born.  To me, this is not someone’s teacher as much as someone’s child.  I live in the suburb of a city and a quick search tells me that someone is murdered in that city once or twice a week, every week.  Of course it’s mostly young men.  But because they don’t look like or act like my young man, my son, I don’t do anything at all about it.  If all 50 or 60 were killed at one time, I guess I’d take better notice.  And being more liberal than you (whoever you are), I’m sure it is the fault of guns and our gun culture.
Then there are the holidays which are not like they were when I was a child.  I could go on an on but really, I’m disappointed with myself and I’d really like to climb out of the pit and into the world which is a really, really, really good place for me today. 
There’s been a huge change for the better at my work.  It’s so good that I’m afraid to believe in it, and maybe it won’t last, but it’s here for today.  The family is better than fine.
I’m in the doldrums of “shouldn’t” feel this way after this much time.  Though I reserve the right to plead insanity caused by hormones on the rampage.

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