The following was sent as a comment to my page of AA topics. I believe it deserves a post.
i’m curious about this. i’m a younger person who likes to drink (emphasis on likes)…i’m not someone who gets aggressive, violent, or any malevolent repercussions, maybe just acts stupid at the most part… I consider myself an alcoholic…i don’t harm anyone and am a respectful person no matter what my state is…however, the only thing people see is my harm to myself…that’s about it…i don’t offend people, don’t hurt people, don’t do anything like that; just my friends’ concerns…but i enjoy it…it’s my own choice and i like it…i’ve thought about the idea of why i indulge myself sometimes and to be the most honest sometimes, i think people suck…i think i’m an amazing person and, after meeting the tons of people i have, i don’t think anyone has the right to share my company with…maybe i’m too selfish…maybe i’m too sure of myself….i’m starting to find a dark side of myself and would like some advice…i think my kidneys are starting to hurt daily…i enjoy it though…i think there’s a sense of suicidal tendencies definitely involved that i actually enjoy…it’s on of the many conundrums i’m looking at…i don’t want jesus to save my life, i’m just looking for like-minded people…
And my response, here and by email:
Hi, and thanks for commenting.
My advice to you is the same as it is for anyone who is questioning. I think that your appearance on a blog about alcoholism proves you have a problem. If not, your hurting kidneys surely do. Alcohol is a poison, and you cannot poison yourself daily without doing long-term, serious damage.
You may believe you’re not harming anyone and that may actually be true. Or it may be that you’re unable to live responsibly because of the time you spend under the influence. Feeling better than everyone around you is not a good feeling. It is a lonely feeling. You are not actually better than those around you, and so picture yourself accurately, as someone who thinks he is better but is clearly not. That is a sad picture.
So my advice is that you check out Alcoholics Anonymous. It costs nothing. You sign nothing. There is no obligation to stay or return. You have nothing to lose but your self-harming habit and you have everything to gain.