January 10, 2012 (this day)

I’m waiting to take my mother to the airport.  Carole and I will be on our own for the first time since her surgery.  She’s getting around really well, but she can’t do everything and she can’t drive.  After I take my mother I’ll go to the supermarket.  Of all the things Carole did before, I miss her shopping the most!  That, and her going into the basement for any reason.  I hate the basement.

I didn’t walk the dog this morning because some women were just attacked in my area, doing just that, at just the time that I do it.  I walk the dog every morning before work.  I had a traumatic dog walking experience several years ago, and I swore I’d never walk a dog again.  Well the dog is here and I can’t accept that she doesn’t need to be walked, so I do it.

Physically, I have never ever intimidated anyone, except when I am walking this dog.  She’s big and black and she acts anxious, what could be seen as aggressive, on the leash.  I would not walk her if I felt there was any danger she’d hurt anyone.  She even calmly accepts the occasional aggression of little dogs.  But people approaching me don’t know that, and once in a while someone will cross the street to avoid me.  It boggles my mind that someone is attacking women who are walking dogs.  I have no idea what my dog would do if I was attacked.  I’m able to walk her because I think that she is an unlikely target for attack, and that she’d be able to defend herself, whereas my little dog that was killed didn’t have a chance.

So today I will walk her in the broad daylight when I get home from the airport and the supermarket.  Tomorrow, I don’t know.  I have to work and I don’t like to walk her after work, at least not by myself.  Carole can’t come with me.  Often the weather keeps me from walking at this time of year but that’s not the problem this week.  I’ve been very fortunate to be able to walk her pretty much every day up until today.  I have to choose between my fear of the attacker and my fear of facing a later walk.

What would Dr. Bob do?


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