And What Can Be Said of Many A.A. Members (Step Twelve continued)

And what can be said of many A.A. members who, for a variety of reasons, cannot have a family life?  At first many of these feel lonely, hurt, and left out as they witness so much domestic happiness about them.  If they cannot have this kind of happiness, can A.A. offer them satisfactions of similar worth and durability?  Yes–whenever they try hard to seek them out.  Surrounded by so many A.A. friends, these so-called loners tell us they no longer feel alone.  In partnership with others–women and men–they can devote themselves to any number of ideas, people, and constructive projects.  Free of marital responsibilities, they can participate in enterprises which would be denied to family men and women.  We daily see such members render prodigies of service, and receive great joys in return.

I like that part about trying hard!

From the time I was 16 and continuing till now, I’ve been involved with people on a daily basis.  I did spend seven years single in between my marriage breaking up and meeting Carole, but I had small children then, and so a daily family life.  Now that my kids are older and not daily for me anymore, I’m again married.

It often occurs to me that Carole and I are one of a few couples among our AA friends.  There are even a few couples we know who have been together longer than we have, but not many.  Most have been together for less time, and most of our friends are single, and some are in dysfunctional relationships that probably will and probably should break up.

I know it is in Carole’s make-up to be part of a couple.  Even if she doesn’t know it.  Though I think she does.  I’m more surprised at myself.  As an only child, I like a certain, big amount of solitude and I absolutely need time to do “nothing” to keep an emotional balance.

The above passage cracks me up also in that it assume so much domestic happiness.  I’m sure single folks are often very grateful not to have the problems that family life brings.  I can absolutely see how being involved in AA activities would be a very good way to spend time, and I hope I do that if I’m ever in the position where I’m not coupled or otherwise engaged with daily family life, and/or if I’m ever not working full-time.

Bottom line:  for a person who has recovered from alcoholism, AA activities are an excellent way to spend great amounts of time.  I personally would have no time for anything else, if there was no AA.


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