With the help of the thorn in my foot, I spring higher than anyone with sound feet. ~ Soren Kierkegaard
I have a little photo thingy I keep on my dresser. It has ….. many many pockets where one is meant to put a photo, and to flip it whenever, so as to display many photos rather than just one. I have long accomplished that by having many pictures in one frame and rotating them. But anyway, I received this thing when I was a teenager or even younger, and so a long time ago I put sayings in it rather than pictures. I’ve flipped the sayings every week or more frequently for I don’t know how long. Many, many years. I think I had this thing before I even ever had a typewriter. Then I hand wrote the sayings I liked. Then I typed them. Then when the typewriters were gone I went back to handwriting. It is more efficient than trying to work a printer. Why are printers so difficult?
I have the above saying from before I had the typewriter. So, for a very long time. I don’t know what it meant to me when I hadn’t ever drank. I was in every important way an average alcoholic waiting to drink. I knew my life was especially bad and I was especially special. I thank God I found out how wrong that was in time to not waste my entire life suffering from my uniqueness.
The main “thorn in my foot” I have thought of when I’ve flipped to this saying through the years is my alcoholism. And to me, the cure is so much better than the life I imagine I would have had without the disease. I mean, I truly believe that my life is infinitely better because I have suffered the blessing of alcoholism and the recovery of Alcoholics Anonymous than my life ever could have been if I had been a “normal” (what the hell?) drinker.
So the image of the quote, jumping higher because of the pain, just fits the whole story really well in my mind.
All that is easy. So I’m sitting here on Sunday night and wondering how I can extrapolate this into a more peaceful work week ahead. My alcoholism and recovery has helped me immeasurably at work. I deal with people and I deal with them all day long and under sometimes great pressure. That AA helps me deal is really very old news for me.
But how can AA, my knowledge of it, my character defects and my quest for greater humility help me (I typoed “heal” me) know peace and serenity through the thick and thin, the mundane stuff and the mundane crises?
And even if it can do all that, can it help me through an upgrade of our electronic documentation system? : – )