October 29, 2011 (this day)

This is Erika and Carole, from our visit last weekend.  Now we have snow and I believe Erika does as well.  Our son was heading into bigger snow, going for a trip for work.  Whether he went or not, or made it or not, we do not know.  He does not say.

Erika is much more communicative.  I know that she’s due to give a big speech on Monday.  That her car’s wheel is making a funny noise but she doesn’t have time to have it checked out.  That she probably won’t have it checked out before she drives to visit us next month, a drive of six hours and including two cats.  That she can only stay a few days and so my opportunity to check out the car is limited.  Which reminds me I forgot to call and try to make an appointment for the day before Thanksgiving.

Carole’s been sick, and our internet has been going in and out, on and off.  I’m paralyzed without it!  I can’t work or shop or practically live.  I needed help with a crochet pattern and I couldn’t send it to Erika to have her tell me what to do.  I guess that’s good.  She was too busy for that anyway.

Today we went to the sale the church across the street has every year.  Phyllis’ husband was there, and he said he’s buying snacks for our meeting tonight, the way Phyllis did every year.  The meeting will be in the smaller room of the church due to the sale.  I’m chairing tonight, and later I have to go try to figure out how to possibly cram many people into a small space.  I hate that.  Though too many people at the meeting is an excellent problem to have.

Today I really want to give up as much anxiety and worry as I possibly can.  There’s Erika, and yesterday I found out I may have to testify at a hearing having to do with work.  A very bad situation at work.  I’ve been in any kind of court exactly twice.  Once for child support and once to change my name.  I really really really hope I don’t have to go.

And I really really really know that there’s a bit I can do to prepare for it, that bit not including worry about it.  Then any extra time I give to it just detracts from the quality of my life.  Same with Erika and anything else I choose to worry about.

And, trying to expand the way I think about character defects a little, I’m thinking about how this will involves dependency and co-dependency and over-dependency.  Hmmm.



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