As we made spiritual progress, we saw through these fallacies. It became clear that if we ever were to feel emotionally secure among grown-up people, we would have to put our lives on a give-and-take basis; we would have to develop the sense of being in partnership or brotherhood with all those around us. We saw that we would need to give constantly of ourselves without demands for repayment. When we persistently did this we gradually found that people were attracted to us as never before. And even if they failed us, we could be understanding and not too seriously affected.
Yeah but . . . what if they are lesser grown-ups? What if they’re old, but not grown up? What if they are selfish, greedy, bad and/or wrong?
OK I guess I mostly know the answers to my questions. There is still an issue I can’t quite wrap my mind around, the issue of how best to deal with slackers at work over whom I have authority and am called to and have agreed to correct. But I feel like I’m getting closer to a mental framework that might actually work.
So (way) into the third decade of sobriety, AA does way more than help me stay away from alcohol. It still works as a system of beliefs that, if I choose, improve my life.