Can We Steadfastly Content Ourselves part 1 (Step Twelve continued)

Can we steadfastly content ourselves with the humbler, yet sometimes more durable, satisfactions when the brighter, more glittering achievements are denied us?

This will be complicated for me to address.

Content?  Yes!  But . . .  I still fear the future, and whether or not I will have “enough.”  I fear the future my children will live in, with things like the economy and the environment.  I have no grandchildren, and if I envision a future without them, I fear what’s in store for humans.  If I envision grandchildren, the fear is that much worse.

But I DO NOT walk around fearing for myself, my children, or anyone, really.  Those thoughts are fleeting and they don’t dominate my mind.  I feel those thoughts are both right and wrong.  Right, because I’m not exempting myself from the human condition, though I have so much to insulate and protect me from hardship (and really, I don’t get this about the rich, who go about protecting the rich at the expense of the poor – don’t they know they, or their children, or their grandchildren, or someone they care about could one day be poor?).  I know that my life on earth could change for the worse quickly.  I have health insurance, but I really want everyone to, even if it costs me.

Wrong, because I have nothing in my history to make me afraid.  I have little in my behavior to make me afraid.  Fear is character defect and I would like to cut off its sunlight so it ceases to grow.

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2 thoughts on “Can We Steadfastly Content Ourselves part 1 (Step Twelve continued)

  1. Fear does often dominate my thoughts. I fight, run and am paralyzed by fears that are not real. This is the instinct most out of balance for me. Blessedly I have been given tools that I can choose to pick up to calm my erratic emotions -taking an action, being of service, working a step, calling another AA member, chairing a meeting, being grateful for what I have, trusting my Higher Power….Can I steadfastly content myself with the humbler, yet sometimes more durable, satisfactions when the brighter, more glittering achievements are denied me? Not always but on my better days, yeah.

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