Can we bring the same spirit of love and tolerance into our sometimes deranged family lives that we bring to our A.A. group?
Funny how issues clump together. I was just talking to Carole about this a few hours ago.
My family life now is not deranged. At least I hope it’s not terribly deranged. My wife and I met in sobriety. My children are 25 and 22, sobriety babies both. The nightmares I imagine would have happened to any and all of us, had I not stopped drinking, are endless. I’m pretty sure we just wouldn’t be.
But my family of origin is another story. I haven’t, nor do I want to, try to change or heal or help those relationships much. I surely don’t want to work the Twelve Steps on them except in ways that benefit me, by, for example, letting go and letting God, living and letting live.
In my day-to-day family life, I want to be more than loving and tolerant. In my bigger family life, not so much. And I have no doubt that this points to character defects, big and unhealthy, within me.