At Step Six, many of us balked–for the practical reason that we did not wish to have all our defects of character removed, because we still loved some of them too much. Yet we knew we had to make a settlement with the fundamental principle of Step Six. So we decided that while we still had some flaws of character that we could not yet relinquish, we ought nevertheless to quit our stubborn, rebellious hanging on to them. We said to ourselves, “This I cannot do today, perhaps, but I can stop crying out ‘No, never!'”
I want to say this doesn’t resonate with me, but I guess it does. I considered myself to be hung up on step six for literally years. For example, I haven’t spoken to my mother’s husband since I was around nine years old, and I didn’t plan to. Knowing that this showed a pretty awesome character defect in me, I felt I couldn’t say I had taken step six.
I know someone like this in the program now. I’ve written about Phyllis before, and she came into the program three years ago, at the age of 70. Phyllis has some big, bad resentments against some relatives, and won’t consider trying to forgive them, so won’t consider any of the steps, really, even the first.
Personally I had “worked” the first five and much of the last six. And really, isn’t doing an honest third step really taking the sixth as well?