August 29, 2010 (this day)

I’m trying to be brave about the weather forecast, which is calling for massive heat through next Thursday.  I’ve had a small reprieve from the heat, and as the forecast goes into Friday and the weekend, it promises the heat will end.  Even if it doesn’t end Friday or Saturday or next month even, I know that it will end, and then it will be back.  I’m trying to look at it through the eyes of tolerance and gratitude.  The heat is not so terrible that I can’t stand it.  I have the economic means to temper the heat (even if it means hiding in the bedroom).  I live in a place that has varying temperatures and four seasons, and the temperatures are not extreme compared to what others on earth are living with.

After last Christmas I set out to crochet 20 something scarves for this Christmas, and I’m coming to the end of that list.  I wish I could crochet and read better than I do, but what I really need to do to accomplish that is to learn to listen to books on an iPod.  The only time I attempted that was on an airplane, but it taught me that it’s possible.

Multi-tasking.  Why can’t I just accept that my crocheting is limited in the time I can give it right now?  Or my reading?

And something else just happened as I was writing this.  A trigger for something that sets me off.  Tolerance.  Once at work last week, I lost patience.   Well surely more than once, though I was only there for two days.  But this particular time, it caused someone to ask me if they had done something to upset me, and they hadn’t.  Tolerance.  Recently, I even asked someone I was about to argue with if we could skip over the angry part to the part where we see where we’re wrong, or at least how unimportant it is, and get right to the part where we’re OK again.

And of course I’m trying to tolerate having my daughter be far away.  She called yesterday with a banking problem, and told me that while she was at the bank, some students from China were having a terrible time setting up their banking stuff.  Good AA mom that I am, I was immediately grateful that she hasn’t gone to school in China.  Of course I’ve been grateful for that all along.  Also grateful that she hasn’t gone to war, gone to rehab, gone to jail, gone to pot, to seed, nor to the dogs.

And my specific worries about my period and my dog while I was gone both came to nothing.  The temperatures dipped and the bleeding stopped and what I needed to tolerate there was the uncertainty.

It all seems so very whiny when I write it down, my trifling worries and inconveniences.


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