I didn’t finish yesterday’s thought because a very important reality television show was on.
So I’ve identified anxiety as a character defect and even if I have good cause for anxiety, like a daughter moving away, I must grow in my ability to tolerate and handle it. I think my success with avoiding drugs on my flights is a good omen for me and lets me know that I do have the tools to handle things, if only I will practice and use them. The anxiety thing will be much longer lived than a few plane flights. It will last my whole life. I want to lessen it as much as I can. I still believe that if I take drugs to deal with it, I won’t get anywhere in my ability to tolerate it. Just like flying. Again, my mind considers “legal” highs, and my mind kicks my butt for not investigating further . . .
Along with anxiety, yesterday, I identified co-dependence and over-dependence. There are a few people who, when they are upset, I find myself too close to them to avoid getting upset myself. Again I don’t think it will be possible for me to eliminate that from my life completely. I do believe I can lessen it.
These dependency terms are not terms I’ve used to describe myself much before now.