We Also Fall (Step Eleven continued)

We also fall into another similar temptation.  We form ideas as to what we think God’s will is for other people.  We say to ourselves, “This one ought to be cured of his fatal malady,” or “That one ought to be relieved of his emotional pain,” and we pray for these specific things.  Such prayers, of course, are fundamentally good acts, but often they are based upon a supposition that we know God’s will for the person for whom we pray.  This means that side by side with an earnest prayer there can be a certain amount of presumption and  conceit in us.  It is A.A.’s experience that particularly in these cases we ought to pray that God’s will, whatever it is, be done for others as well as for ourselves.

Again, why bad things happen to good people.  I don’t know and it often, often, seems very unfair.  The above concept explains to me that I’m not unique, and it tells me what to do.  I need to pray for God’s will, whatever it is.

I don’t know what it is.  I also add after that, if I’m actually praying this, “and the power to carry that out.”

I can see how a lifetime of asking for people to be cured of their fatal maladies could lead to big disillusionment and eventually turning away from a higher power and from prayer.  It’s a bit different to consider that it is presumption and conceit that would make me think this way.

Through the years I’ve had a few favorite clients (adults with multiple disabilities and mental retardation), and one of them is suffering right now.  To my eyes she has suffered her whole life, and now her life is in question as she struggles to get off of a ventilator.  Honestly this is one of the most difficult scenarios of my life, and it does get played out from time to time.    I just can’t fathom a “why” for these things.  There can’t be a reason that I can comprehend.  So yes, God’s will for Christy, that’s what is needed right now.  And the truth is, I may not really, truly want it.

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