Self Acceptance

I don’t like this topic or much that has to do with my “self.”

I just got out of the shower, and I put on a bigger bra than I ever thought I would wear.  As a child, I was quick to “develop.”  It’s no fun being the first to need a bra, and maybe because of that, I always thought of myself as “big.”  Of course now I know that rare indeed was the girl who escaped feeling bad about her breasts for one reason or another.  And after a time I came to understand that I was pretty much a variation of “average,” and I was lucky to be so.  Many people live with extremes, and I am not one of them.

Just about the time that I understood I was pretty much average, things started to go south, as they will do in women of a certain age.  Along with that there came sobriety, childbearing and now menopause.  I’m still average, and I still understand that, but average isn’t so pretty as it used to be a decade or two ago.

AA always asks me to do more and to be better.  I even have an ideal in place, and that it to be humble.  I see people every day who have severe and profound disabilities, who are decidedly not average.  I am often ashamed of myself.

Accepting my limitations regarding alcohol has been the biggest blessing of my life.  I’m not average in that regard, and I thank goodness that I am not.  I’m not even an average alcoholic, because those are mostly drunk, dying and dead.  So I understand how the obvious disadvantage becomes the advantage.

That reminds me of one of my favorite quotes:

With this thorn in my foot, I leap higher than anyone whose feet are sound. – Kierkegaard

2 thoughts on “Self Acceptance

  1. George F. Will once said, “It’s extraordinary to me how extraordinary ordinary people are.” All you have to do to know that is to listen to a few of our stories! Have a good one!!!

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