Sanity

How it works for me, today.

The books tell us that sanity means soundness of the mind.  Sound means –free from injury, damage, defect, disease, etc.; in good condition; healthy; robust: a sound heart; a sound mind.  AA’s definition is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result.

The ultimate insanity for me was trying over and over to drink successfully, despite all I knew about alcoholism and the obvious fact that over time, my drinking got worse, never better.  Just like they told me would happen.

Now as far as trying something, I will say I’ve moved a step beyond even the understanding of “if you do what you did you will get what you got.”  Not only should I change the things I do in order to get a different result, I should also let go of the results, and not expect anything for certain.

When my mind is sound, and healthy, and I’m mostly sane, I think I have as clear a picture as I can of the world and my place in it.  Sanity to me means knowing that no matter what, my gratitude list is far longer than any list of complaints I could assemble.

It involves seeing “my part” as much as I can, and accurately appraising people and situations.  It means being humble and “right-sized.”

I don’t know if I ever was “sane” before I started drinking, and returning to sanity may be just trying to get back some of the good sense I was born with.  My actively drinking life was total insanity, and I guess I do need to consider that it takes a certain kind of person to do what I did.  I hope that the memory of that can make me gentler with others who still suffer.

One thought on “Sanity

  1. It is amazing to be sober, to see and experience life as it is not as we try to define through illusion, with drugs and alcohol. Even if we have a bad day,it is better than our best day while using. life can be complex, and indeed hard at times, but what I try to do on a consistent basis is to step back and through prayer and willingness avail myself to GODs will. Doing this makes it a whole lot easier…

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