unquiet or uneasy
easily irritated or annoyed; readily excited to impatience or anger
Unserene. I “should” be quiet, easy, not easily annoyed, patient, not easily excited to anger. I should be satisfied.
I believe the string of these three words comes from The Doctor’s Opinion in the Big Book. It is describing something that often happens to active alcoholics. As a recovering alcoholic, I wish it wasn’t so easy for me to identify with the words and the feelings.
It’s the “there’s no big thing wrong, just too many little ones for me to be serene.”
It is a lack of acceptance.
Sometimes, for me, it will be something like a persistent, though not awful, physical pain. Sometimes it could be a nagging worry or a long stretch of bad weather.
Bottom line for me is that the things I usually find soothing, enjoyable or relaxing will fail to soothe, calm or relax me to the degree which they might when I’m in a better frame of mind.
I’m grateful that I’m trying to follow a program that reveals these things to me, that I realize these states of mind are not to be encouraged and fed, and that the program points to a way out.