Resentment

The topic that must be bashed till it’s dead.  The emotional that has the power to kill.

A few hours ago, I had one.  I was at a training with others in my field, and one of my employees mentioned that she didn’t get signed up for a class she needed on time.  The manager of another department shared that he has all his staff on a spread sheet, knows when their training is due, and duly signs them up.

Well.

He has five staff.  I have between 25 and 30.  He inherited his position from someone who was impeccably organized.  I got mine after oh, probably, easily, five years of confusion and neglect on the part of the manager, when there was a manager, which there often wasn’t.

So, easy for him.

So, hard for me.  I get a feeling of displeasure because I perceive he has insulted me.  I swiftly, seamlessly, automatically switch to my AA way of thinking, that probably no, he was just trying to share something helpful, an answer to a stated problem to which he has a solution.  And while it’s not AA, I also always remind myself of the truism that I cannot, cannot, ever ever know another person’s motivation.  Sometimes I don’t even know my own.

Boy the resentments keep coming, and I really do try not to let them stay.  Perhaps tomorrow I will ask to see his spreadsheet.  Probably not.

Advertisements

2 thoughts on “Resentment

  1. I think – what does this have to do with resentment? Your question pointed out to me, though, that I neglected to add the search button to this format so now it’s there. I used it and found out I have not addressed the “we” of the program, though it’s on my list, so all I have to do is live long enough.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s