Not Fighting, Not Avoiding

Before I leave that completely, I want to record that I did wonder what the drinks felt like to those people.   This is not a normal mental activity for me.  I think I was in such distress, my mind went everywhere it shouldn’t and around and back again.  I wondered if they felt good, relaxed, silly, hot.  I envied (briefly) their ability to take a mind and mood altering drug.  It was similar to watching a naturally thin person have a vanilla milk shake.  Similar, but not the same.

Alcohol and I have no argument.  We haven’t for a very long time.  If I maintain my spiritual condition, we never will again.

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