November 18, 2009 (this day)

These next few weeks will be hectic.  My mother is visiting for Thanksgiving, coming from Monday until the next Tuesday.  I’ve taken time off from work around that, but we have inspections on that Tuesday and Wednesday.  At work, we also have a Thanksgiving feast, an open house where we sells crafty things, and a Christmas party.  Kind of makes me look forward to the after Christmas lull.

I have a resentment that stings like a bitch!  Someone treated me badly (the admonishment I wrote of earlier) and I don’t know how to deal with it.  Forgiveness is not a problem.  This person is forgiven.  Now what?  Act like nothing happened?  I feel like I’ve been struck.   Demand an apology?  That seems like forcing someone to adhere to a religion, completely missing the point.  I just don’t know what to do.  Or refrain from doing.

But an upside already is that I appreciate so much more the way my parents, really my mother raised me, in a nonviolent way.  Yelling at people, swearing, showing anger and trying to overpower someone is not acceptable to me.  It’s not going to get my cooperation (maybe because I am obstinate it will do the opposite and set me in opposition).  I’m so very glad my I don’t approach life this way and when I do display these things, I recognize this is a complete breakdown of civility for me.  I’m also grateful that this really doesn’t come up for me.  The last time I can think of is when the irate father of a little boy yelled at me for accusing the boy of hitting my daughter when they were five years old and waiting for the bus.  The father then spied on the kids and came back and apologized when he saw the situation for himself.  That was a sincere apology but, in my book, he had acted wrongly to begin with even if he believed his child to be innocent.

OK, time for me to put away “my book.”

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