Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
where there is hatred, let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master,
grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood, as to understand;
to be loved, as to love;
for it is in giving that we receive,
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
The way I learned and studied the prayer at first in AA has the word channel where here it is instrument. As a channel, I could sometimes picture it as something coming from the sky (where God lives, right?) into and out of me. Instrument seems more active somehow, although instruments do nothing but lay there unless they are used or played.
I’m thinking of a specific situation because mornings at work are often my most unserene time of the day. Short staff is the hardest thing for me to be peaceful about work. It’s pretty predictable, for many reasons, that short staff will happen often. I’d like to deal with it better than I do. I know my anxiety and anger can effect other people and most of the people involved in the short staff situation are innocent.
So to understand the people who don’t come to work when they should? To understand the people who try to get the best situation for themselves, regardless of others? To understand the society that doesn’t sufficiently pay for services for people with disabilities, so that there isn’t enough money to provide enough staff, and there isn’t enough money to pay good people well enough to keep them coming back?
This situation challenges my abilities to create the best situation that I can create. Keeping all the needs and all the personalities in mind is difficult, and in the end most people are unhappy with the result. Some people suffer with the result.
Maybe I need a different prayer for this.
God, help me to endure my blessings.