Self-Seeking Will Slip Away (promises)

I honestly hate self-seeking and being the center or attention, or receiving too much attention at all.  So a program that tells me not to seek myself fits me perfectly in that aspect.

Most self-seeking, I think, makes me think I’m either better than or less than.  I seldom think of myself in terms of “I’m just like everyone else.”  I mean I do think that, but it’s really as a discipline of AA that I do that.  It can be automatic but it’s very intellectual, not at all emotional.  When I think of myself emotionally, I pretty much think about things that are good, or things that are bad.

I have to think about myself in terms of a moral inventory and a daily inventory.  I have to be very careful not to totally disparage all therapy as self-seeking pop psychology.  Because I think so much of it is.  When I see unhappy people who could work or contribute sit around and be depressed or constantly think about themselves and their depression, I think there is no other way for them to be but depressed.  And I don’t mean that about people who have legitimate, disabling mental or physical illness, although I think that most of those people also need to have meaningful, contributing activity.

Lots of my prejudices shine through here, but it’s actually progress for me to understand I should not dismiss all therapy out of hand.


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