Learning Daily to Spot, Admit, and Correct These Flaws (step ten coninuted)

Learning daily to spot, admit, and correct these flaws is the essence of character-building and good living.  An honest regret for harms done, a genuine gratitude for blessings received, and a willingness to try for better things tomorrow will be the permanent assets we shall seek.

Saturday night the topic at my meeting was “willingness.”    Several people struggled with the concept of what we should actually be willing to do.  I wish I had written about these sentences beforehand, as I could have contributed something specific from the plan that is the steps.

“A willingness to try for better things tomorrow” summarizes in a way all of AA to me.  To achieve sobriety I had to be willing to take directions and work the program.  As I move through the years, I have to be willing to try for better things tomorrow.

Every day I have to be willing to spot, admit, and correct these flaws.  Thankfully for me they have died down in intensity as I’ve moved farther away from alcohol.  Over the past few weeks, as a result of examining this step closely, I’ve come to understand that when I am “triggered” in pop psychology lingo it is because a character defect of mine has been activated.  I can try to look at the situation that upsets me in terms of my own character defects.

I feel very let down by someone close to me.

Sadly, someone I work with has passed away.  This is someone I took care of for years, and he was quite a character.  He was young, and it was unexpected.

I often picture these folks in heaven, writing notes in the book that will be used to judge me when it’s my time.  I don’t really believe anything like that happens.  I don’t know what happens.  But I want to live so that what they say about me is good.  Simply put, good.  Yet daily I fail to be as good as I know I can be.

When someone like this dies, I have no more chances to be good to that person.  I need to remember that there is nothing but now.

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