September 14, 2009 (this day)

A new happiness.

It surely is new.  I cannot remember what I considered to be happiness when I was drinking.  I was a depressed drunk yet unable to stop.

What’s on my mind these days regarding a new happiness?  Honestly today, on this very day, I’m not very happy.  I have a problem with a personal relationship that is getting me down.  At times I think I’m very weak and that I won’t be able to handle a very big disappointment or tragedy, like something awful happening to one of my kids.  I know that thinking about such things is a total waste of time.    I pay attention to the examples set by people who have lived through something like that.  Sometimes I think I’m too dependent, too codependent, but how can we have relationships without the risk of being devastated?

One thought on “September 14, 2009 (this day)

  1. My goodness I know exactly what you mean, I’m terrified to love others in case something happens to them. I know i’m stunting my own emotions through this fear, but I worry how I would cope if the worst happened.

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