An honest regret for harms done . . .
Today this is almost baffling. I’m trying to imagine a situation in which I would harm someone, and not be sorry for it. I don’t think my deepest, most violent anger even goes there.
I was temperamentally made this way, though, it’s nothing to my credit. I do get angry and hurtful and violent but I hope I’m always sorry if I harm someone.
I like sayings like, “Darkness cannot drive out darkness, only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate, only love can do that,” and “An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind.”
Two people I work with had a serious and scary fight. I wasn’t there for the fight, but I was there for the aftermath when my work partner and I tried to make sense of it and repair what we could. One woman, let’s call her Flora, felt disrespected by the other woman. Let’s call her Sara.
Flora stood up to Sara in an aggressive way, because she felt disrespected, and Sara reacted to that aggression with aggression of her own. She did things like shout, wave her finger and physically move forward.
It’s plain to me that even as that began, it was going no where good. The aggression of both of them was not going to make the other see it her way. It could do nothing but escalate.
I have a few certain triggers when someone flips my switch. I have to try to remember the scenario and not escalate and not get aggressive. That behavior does harm the other person, whether that person is also harming me, or not. My wrath does not produce God’s righteousness.