We “constructively criticized” someone who needed it, when our real motive was to win a useless argument. Or, the person concerned not being present, we thought we were helping others to understand him, when in actuality our true motive was to feel superior by pulling him down.
On Friday, I heard a rumor about someone I used to work with. This woman was my boss’ boss, and one of the most arrogant people I have ever met. She caused much pain to me and other people who are truly innocent, those being our clients. It is difficult or impossible for me to find much good in this person.
Friday I heard that since she was fired from where I work, she has since lost two jobs in the field and is now working in a supermarket. I just think it must be humbling, since she really thought she was about the smartest person ever. Certainly smarter than all of us. And I am in no way putting down people who work in supermarkets, not at all. I imagine it is very challenging. I just think this would be a psychic step down for her, and I hate to admit it makes me slightly glad.
But examples like that are few for me. The words resonate most for me in my workplace, where I am called to constructively criticize people, actually paid to do that, and that is a very difficult position for me. I hope I do it well, and I will always try to improve at it.
Winning a useless argument sounds mostly like something I attempt at home.