August 21, 2009 (this day and daily inventory)

Scaring myself through what-if scenarios.

I’m having a pretty good day.  I’ve had a pretty good week.  I set off each day of work to be in a good mood, and it’s mostly worked.  I’ve looked out for the triggers I’ve identified and I haven’t been triggered much.  Till right about now, but still.

My work situation is still in limbo and transition and all week it’s looked like my best case scenario may come to be, which I think would be great.  That phrase, “what would you attempt if you knew you couldn’t fail?’ didn’t mean much to me before, but getting a handle on this work situation is certainly something I would do if I couldn’t fail.  And it’s possible to succeed.  Not likely, but possible.

There were also some very hopeful signs that we might move my workplace, which would also be very very good.

Then a little while ago, a higher up asked a bunch of questions that could mean my best case scenario will not come to be.  Like so many organizations, this one changes slowly and painfully and usually a bit too late.  And I hear myself completely.  The questions COULD mean that.  You know?  Or not.
I cannot know another person’s motivation.  Maybe my best case is not THE best case.    Maybe I should let go and let God.

Shoemaker, stick to thy last!

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