This Is A Good Place (Step Ten continued)

(When evening comes, perhaps just before going to sleep, many of us draw up a balance sheet for the day. ) This is a good place to remember that inventory taking is not always done in red ink.

I have a conflict within myself, which all by itself shows a character defect or two. First, I don’t always do my best. Not even as a mother, which I mostly believe is the most important role I play. I have big bad guilt from several happenings while my kids were growing up. Plus the over riding knowledge that, like I wrote, I didn’t always and don’t always do my best. Not in any situation or role.

———-So ug, this day creeps in. It just does. My relationship (mostly one) is just so frigging difficult it makes the day not nice. What is wrong with me? A Walk in Dry Places said about rejection today. Rejection, criticism, conflict. With someone (at work) I’ve been very close to for a long long time.

We share almost everything at work. The way this conflict just went down looks to me like this:

Me: I’m trying to teach James to say his name. I need as many people to help as possible, so I’ll be asking everyone to help and do this as much as possible. (made up name, made up situation)

S: Yes, that’s good. But don’t you think

OK so right there – yes but don’t you think? “Yes but” agrees, then negates the agreement.

This is a muddled mess.  I’m going to go with it, and try to move on.

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