Yesterday Carole and I marked 12 years of being a couple. We were privileged to be invited to the wedding of two very special, young AA people.
My AA community is small so I won’t post too many details. We know these young people from the rooms, and because the uncle of one of them is an AA peer of ours, and we know of them because the sister of one of them went to school with one of our kids, and the sister died while still in high school, an alcohol related death. Oh yes, and they are also neighbors of ours.
There were many striking things to appreciate and report. These two are truly wonderful people. We’ve known them for years and they just seem to be nice, intelligent, concerned with others and things like the environment and politics and helping others. They met and started dating when they were in high school. They spent a good deal of time drunk and drugged and not really functioning together, and they began to recover together. The one family was messed up and neglectful. The other suffered the tragedy of the death of the high schooler and subsequently lived through watching another child go down that frightening, horrifying path. But this one pulled it out.
Carole and I sat with five other program people, and another couple who were not AA, but were friends with the parents of one of the wedding couple. We’re constantly tickled by the AA notion that “we are people who ordinarily would not mix.” Taken as the random group yesterday, I’m sure we cut quite a picture. The youngest among us had to be 20 years older than the wedding couple. When the non-AA couple asked how we all know the wedding couple (since I guess it was obvious we all knew each other, and how well they would never guess), one of our group said we are friends of the wedding couple. Odd assortment of friends indeed. I could honestly say I met most of the people there, and probably also the wedding couple, “at church.” In the basement. But still.
And as I’m writing this, it occurs to me that I may well be sober longer than one or both of the wedding couple have been alive.
The reception hall had munchies and cookies and coffee and such set out, and when someone from our table would head out for supplies, this person would often ask if anyone wanted anything. At one point the man from the non-AA couples was making a trip to the bar, and asked, “Anyone want anything with alcohol? Anything alcoholic?” Carole said she heard the wife then tell the husband, “This isn’t the right table for that, dear.” Not the right table indeed! I hope that, if they eventually figured us out, we left them with a good impression of the AAers anyway. This couple is friends with the family that lost the teenager tragically, so they probably have some small idea of the miracles AA can inspire.
Watching the couple dance I was very haunted by the thought of the dead sibling. This couple is so young and they have so much before them. I hope our anniversary is good luck for them, and right this minute, they have a lot more than luck on their side.