May 26, 2009 (this day)

Work continues to be a challenge to my serenity.  It’s uncertain, as usual.  I can see that this causes me to fear for my own happiness, that I won’t be happy if things change in such-and-such a way.  I know that logic is faulty and wrong.  Still I give in to disquiet and fear.

After work I went to get my eyes checked for new glasses.  I also got Erika glasses and contacts, and Carole came to help me pick out frames.  I hate thinking about what I look like with a passion.  It’s such an awful experience for me, picking out glasses, that I usually take the first thing suggested and hate them for years.  The store I was in isn’t like that.  The frames are just there and you try them on by yourself and tell them what you want.  I practically let Carole choose, with Erika’s advice and my consent, because I just want the experience to be over.  I hope they turn out OK, though they will look bad to me no matter what.  They were going to be ready tonight, but I didn’t want to wait so I’ll get them tomorrow.

I’m going to try the new Fox show, “Mental,” tonight.  I enjoy very little on TV so it’s great when there’s a show to look forward to.  I finished the first halfway decent thing I ever crocheted, and I need Erika to show me how to finish it.  Tomorrow I’ll got to work and learn if anything has been decided.  I’ll try to remember that, either yes or no, things are temporary and I only get to see a small piece of the puzzle.  I have more than I need and all that I want and I’m grateful.

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