March 27, 2009 (this day)

march09-008This Alvin’s promises clock repair, but this picture was not taken at 8:20.  Not any time near 8:20.  Still the store has obviously lasted a very long time, and has outlived all the surrounding businesses.

Today I had to turn down two happy hourish occasion.  Two different groups from work were going out to party, and some people were going to attempt to go from one to the other.  I said no as always.

A few days ago, when these get togethers were being discussed amongst the staff people, several of them did go off on the wonderful tangent of how fun it would be to get me drunk, and how they could do it without my knowledge.  One person said they did this to her aunt who doesn’t drink, on occasion.  That alarmed me, and I said something about someone being allergic or something, so slipping them alcohol could be deadly.  Little to they know.  The aunt in question is apparently not allergic or alcoholic, she just doesn’t drink much. And her sister is always there when this takes place, so presumably it is safe and very very funny.

In thinking about writing all this I wondered what effect, if any, this might have on the vulnerable uninformed newcomer.  I’m not average in this respect.  Most of the people I know in recovery, and certainly those who have been sober for more than a few years, attend these things with no problem other than finding them boring and sometimes sad.  I, on the other hand, am not a party girl in any sense of the word.  When I do attend work functions like this at baby showers or get togethers that don’t take place at a bar I often enjoy myself, but it’s a struggle for me.  I don’t think I use my alcoholism as a way out of these things, but it’s possible that I do.  I truly have no desire to attend functions where drinking is the main event.  And that includes family get togethers.

Other things about my day.  Carole was away last night, and I sort of used that as an excuse not to go to a meeting.  I attend my home group on Saturday nights and I will go there tomorrow night.  I feel no heightened danger of drinking but I want to go to more meetings – at least one a week in addition to my home group.  My number one conflict in doing this is with the dog.  I feel so much more able to do things away from home if she’s been active and exercised and/or if someone will be home with her.  I’ve jokingly said I’ve given up worrying about her for Lent but I actually mean it.  I’ve made some progress and I intend to continue to do so.  But I’m no where near through with this.  No where near.


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