I think people who know me will agree, the dog situation is an excellent example of how I can complicate things that needn’t be complicated. Probably the dog and the job are two things I complicate most.
“AA is a simple program for complicated people.” It’s a saying and oh so true. Drinking, complications abounded regarding, well, everything. Drinking itself was a very complicated matter involving the supply, the company, the obligations and the lies. I’ve noticed that for some people who struggle to maintain sobriety, sobriety can be very complicated. There are so often family, job, health, relationship, and every other kind of trouble a person can have.
I know I wrote above that I complicate my own situations. When I struggle to see this, and to understand how I’m adding to my own misery, I bring to mind the wisdom to know the difference. Over the past (more than two?) years it’s become painfully apparent to me that there is only so much I can at work. Quite a lot I can do, really, but a much bigger lot of things I can’t change. After all this time I should know what to struggle with and what to let go.
The dog situation is born of lack of experience, bad experience, and twisted emotions. I watch (and study) The Dog Whisperer, and most of the time he cuts right to the chase where the person is simply not telling the dog what’s OK and what isn’t. Simple. But you see, I don’t know where this dog came from, but I can tell it was a bad, bad place. She’s understandably neurotic, and so am I, coming from a bad, bad place myself. Then factors of our daily lives, our sizes in relation to each other, the age of each of us, and more – all combine to complicate beyond my comprehension, this situation of a dog and a woman trying to make it together in suburbia.
And even as I write all that out, and even as I live it, I have within me the answer and I understand that I need to Keep It Simple. Dog, woman. Follower, leader.
When I first encountered AA, I was told almost immediately that my “yeah, but” was not going to get me far. I also say that everything after “but” is bull. It’s the yeah, the yes that I say to things I know to be true, that I need to go with and nurture. Keeping it simple and going to the heart of the situation should be a quicker was to resolution. For me and for the dog.